Kotzebue Post Holidaze

Hello all!
Time for the latest and greatest update from the far north!
It is always so great to hear from you, your emails and letters and forwards ( well, most of them) keep my spirits from flagging. And in this place, that is HUGE! SO, thank thank you thank you!

Well, I have so far survived almost a whole year out here in the gulag, and continue a day at a time. I keep my contacts current for the day I get sprung, which at this point seems like a lifetime away.
So far, we know that my skills as a floor nurse are adequate, at best. Not my cuppa tea.
But the grand thing about nursing is that there are so many paths, so many options to choose from, that I would be a fool not to find some path that even I can tread with enthusiasm.
I am still on the road to psych and chemical dependency nursing. My next step to grow in effectiveness and understanding is to continue on to a psych nurse practitioner degree. I am considering the Gonzaga distance learning program, despite its cost of $600.00 per credit, 60 credit load. I have to go somewhere, Gonzaga has a fabulous program and since I am originally from Spokane WA, it would be a nice feather in my cap to boot. Sometimes I wonder if it had been better to have continued on, instead of going directly to the floor. But, I am here now, so nothing to do but continue.

The work here, is not hard, but my inability to acquiesce to the cultural expectations is. This place has so many social ills on so many levels, it is difficult to put into words. As an intuitive healer, there are days I am I feel I become just as wounded as the patients I treat. It becomes so important then to have healthy outlets, friends, diversions and distractions to heal the soul. Of course, with winter slogging its way day by day, the lack of sunlight and amenable temps to getting outside hampers one's desire, and days in front of the computer are not uncommon. I do manage to get out of here about once a month, and in fact, have traveled enough to have gained MVP status on Alaska Airlines.
I am currently planning my next 'getaway' to drive the Oregon Coast , leaving here in 3 days time for 10 days out. That is a HUGE saving grace. I am also planning to travel outside next month to Mexico.

Professionally, I am trying to resurrect our state's APNA chapter( American Psych Nurses Assoc). my primary collegial affiliation at this point. Having won the Janssen Scholarship for 2004, received an all expense paid trip to the conference at the Hyatt in Phoenix and attended the 2005 conference in Nashville in November, I am afire for what work there is to be done in this field. My work is cut our for me, and hopefully, Bernice Carmon my advisor in nursing school, ill be of tremendous help with regards to our chapter. After all, it was she who nominated me and started this flame in the first place. Well, she kindled it at least! HA!

I am also working with Pacific Research Institute evaluating a 2- year feasibility study. This is in regards to a curriculum that has been implemented, teaching Life Skills to the 5th graders . The hope is that they can be steered away from inhalant abuse. I have meet some terrific folks on this project, from administrators, to teachers and students. It is a busy, but exhilarating part of my duties here.

Socially, I have met some grand and not so grand providers from all over. Each has his or her reason to come here to work. One of the docs I met I will be dining with in Seattle over this next break, and she is a fascinating and gifted surgeon. I watched silly movies last evening with another of our TDY docs, and his story is endlessly as amazing. I do have several close nursing friends and they make the day to day bearable. We eat meals, walk, and unload to each other on a daily basis. I think that keeps up from exploding. My divorce will be final at the end of this month and that is a tough one to walk through. I did not expect it, but had heard so many divorce while going thru nursing school. We are maintaining civility, which is easier to do when separated by distance and see each other rarely. It still hurts, but it was supposed to be. My lesson here? I really believe that we don't choose who we love, or who loves us or for how long. Bitterness? Today, I keep it at bay. Ask me tomorrow, tho. I may have another answer for you.

I did get a digital camera and a notebook computer for myself for Xmas, and continue to learn about our amazing electronic world. I walk outside in the sometimes chilly 20 below weather to photograph what I see, at least until my camera batteries freeze up. I have tried snow biking a few times, and I am amazed at how much energy one uses, and how quickly I become dehydrated. My respect for the Inupiaq increases when I think of them surviving and flourishing in this harsh environment without Nalgene bottled water, fleece clothes and ready made energy bars for so many thousands of years.
And so it is the influence of other cultures and the influence of etoh that has decimated this once resilient people, It is especially the etoh. Resistant to established treatments, it becomes heartbreakingly frustrating to find a key to creating healthy culture, to re-instill that desire towards health. Non compliance is almost a game, and we are losing. I don't mean to sound so dismal, but it wearies the spirit of one who wants to help and to serve. Many days, I bide my time, and trudge, but not all days. Sometimes we connect. And like a junkie, I keep hoping for more of that.

So, I continue my isolated journey, changing and growing, adapting( I hope) and surviving, learning about my world and myself.
And who could ask for more from a career, or from any endeavor?
After all, isn't that why we are on this planet?

My hopes that you and your family are well, your careers are flourishing and you continue to influence the best and brightest minds in your oh so unique and enlightening way.

Thank you for thinking of me.
I return the favor many times over.

With every best wish to you and yours in 2006,